Chess Pieces Must Officially Be Renamed in Germany!

The German Federation for Assertion of General Equalization and Equal Opportunities for Women and Men (German abbreviation: DVDGC) has obtained assurance of altering the traditional names of chess pieces at the European Court of Justice.

Chess PiecesThe federation has been engaged in asserting the use of female red light icons in Germany traffic and has furthermore raised a voice in changing the articles of the nouns success, peace, and victory – the common article for those nouns used to be “der” implying for the grammatical gender to be masculine which was now changed to “die”, the feminine pendant. They have now obtained their first success in national sports. The federation itself claims only a partial success. Primarily they aimed for substitution of at least two figures (Bishop and Knight) through newly created pieces whose designs were supposed to severely differ from the others. The request, however, was declined, as implementing the changes would be too complicated and confusing. Special retail stores, for instance, wouldn’t be allowed to sell their chess sets remaining in stock. This alteration would furthermore lead to disparities in international tournaments, since other countries would continue to use the figures  they have always used.

The DVDGC is not going to withdraw their requests for equality because of one setback. Say they it is bad enough that the words rule and defeat  were accompanied by female articles and negative connotation in the German language, whilst a term as victory with a masculine article was understood completely different.

The inequality amongst chess pieces could not be tolerated any longer, according to the DVDGC. The female Queen has had to stand up against the Rook, Knight, Bishop, King, and Pawn on the board, which allegedly created a discriminating imbalance. Germany is therefore introducing the female Knight and female Bishop at instance.  

“We are convinced that this alteration will change chess in Germany fundamentally”, says DVDGC spokeswoman Irmgard Grundelmüser-Schachtler in her first interview. “The alterations will certainly promote chess among young women and encourage them to pay more attention to this traditional sport. They will identify with the game more easily and enjoy it.” In the recent past, the German Chess Federation has complained about the lack of young female talents.

The verdict consequently leads to editing of the entire German ruleset and literature on chess matters. Publishers must change their products until May 1, 2016. After that date they may no longer sell their original editions in book stores.

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Who is aware of today’s date might suspect: You have been target of our April fool hoax. Of course, Germany has not initiated the change of chess pieces’ names 🙂

Nevertheless, we would like to point out to you today that a few more female talents wouldn’t hurt chess competitions – Grab your daughter, friend, girlfriend, niece, mother, aunt, or neighbor and hit the board! 🙂

And: We did not mean to offend anyone with our little joke! Feminists and equal opportunities representatives are doing important jobs in Germany. Chessimo supports equal opportunities at any time!

(But as long as serious discussions about red light icons and verbal expressions are preferred over discussions about equal wages and salaries for equal performance, the author of this article takes the freedom of making a joke at the “engagement’s” expense).

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written by Sarah, translated by Birthe